Why do i feel so worthless and lik a sl*t?

i hav had an experience of ual abuse as a teenager..im 24 now and im considered very goodlooking i have never had any dearth of boys vying for my attention but i was very very scared because of my past experience..after many years i found the man of my dreams...i have never had a ual experience other than the one in which i was abused...im very much a virgin..it was only after i turned 18 that i knew about fully...but that doesnt mean that i have never been or experimented one or two ual stuff but i have not performed or persuaded anyone else to perform a ual act in any of my interaction with another person...my first meaningful ual experience was with the love of my life my man...he is a wonderful person...but i feel this all consuming and dreadful feeling that im debauched bcs of my experience and experiments even though logically it might not matter much to u...why do i feel i dont deserve my darling boy friend..why does this happen please help me